In my previous article, The Facades of Southern Society, I touched on the culture in the south and how the way I was treated by some people were representative of what their cultural upbringing was. While since writing that article I have realized that not all people in the south, put up acts to hide their true emotions and personality. While their are some who take this idea of southern gentleman ship to a whole new level and completely embody the person I described, not all southern people represent the facade. However, that is not to say that I still don't recognize the drastic cultural differences between my culture that I grew up in, and the one that I am currently attending college in.
This past week, I traveled home to Orange County, CA with two girls who also attend Transylvania University. One of these girls is form New Mexico and the other is from Louisville, Kentucky. Both of them come from different backgrounds than I, but I did not fully realize the extent of our differences until I offered up my home to them and allowed them to stay in my guest house for the duration of the week.
The sweet fun loving girls that I invited from Kentucky, were not the girls that showed up at my home. I do not think it was anything they did on purpose, it was simply a difference of culture that made them stick out like a sore thumb. A common courtesy and classiness that I expected of them was not received. Instead I encountered entitled, ungrateful attitudes that simply mooched off of everything in my home. In addition, the girls did not take care of my things and left a lot of damage that will now need to be fixed. It was as if they expected to be treated like I was a hotel and not a friend they were coming to visit. After multiple home cooked meals, gas money, and trips to expensive tourist locations that I would otherwise not be attending if it were not for them, I received ungrateful and entitled attitudes, and no offer to pay for gas, parking, or buy me a meal. Now I am not saying that I expected them to reimburse me for the things I offered to them. That was my treat, and as a courtesy to them, if they had offered to pay anything, I would not have accepted it. However, a respectful, gracious person would offer to treat their host to something, at least thats how I was taught to treat hosts in my culture.
In the end, I realized that they don't come from the same place I do and I did not realize that certain aspects of my culture are not practiced in other parts of the country. I am not saying that this is like all people in the south, but I definitely see the differences in their upbringing after their visit to my hometown. It is interesting. Culture is not a generalization because every parent brings up their child differently. However, the people around them and the common courtesies expected of people in specific cultures vary greatly. I am still learning how to adapt to this culture change.
While on campus I feel I have learned how to fit in with my new culture, but I did not anticipate that my friends would come to my home and act so drastically different from the way they act on campus. I suppose when I arrived home I fell back in to the ways of my hometown and my visitors obviously did not understand the culture or adapt well to it. They stuck out like a sore thumb and honestly, it bothered me. I do not think they realized how they were acting because it was a totally new ball game for them, but I was simply shocked and dissapointed at their behavior. I will put this one down in the books as a learning experience and learn to be more selective with the people I wish to treat to things. I think that generosity can sometimes get taken advantage of and it is something I need to be careful about in the future.
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